The Rain Falls-Story Empire Friday Fiction Prompt

Hello everyone! Today, I am posting a piece of short fiction from a video fiction prompt over on Story Empire. Check out the post HERE.

This is the video on which I’ve based my story.

And here is my little tale …

The Rain Falls

One of the most subtle forms of drowning is shallow water blackout. How deep does water need to be for you to drown in? Basically, it comes down to how big a nose you have. That simple. That shallow—no more than two to three inches, really.

Despite popular media depictions, drowning is often quick and unspectacular. Unless, of course, you happen to be the victim. Did you know that drowning begins at the point a person can no longer keep their mouth above water? Inhalation of said water happens at a later stage.

So, you might ask yourself, why don’t I just lift my head? Do I want to die? Not particularly.

Damn the government workers for not making the pavement precisely level and even. No, they had to leave a dip deep enough for water to pool. For the raindrops to make pretty patterns and splashes as they fall. To hold the vague blurry reflection of my killer.

The rain falls.

The times my shoes have trodden through puddles with never a thought or faltering step. Only when the cold liquid seeps through the laces do you even notice where your feet are.

Face down, though, it’s a different matter entirely.

From here, I have a unique view. One I haven’t seen before—or, at least, haven’t registered in the activity of my day-to-day life. The concrete is far more pitted than I could have imagined, and it feels rough and gritty against my chin, even with the layer of water to smooth it. Not a foot away, the edge of the puddle mocks and taunts. No way to reach it.

White bits speckle the ground beneath the puddle, and—crazily—my brain tries to work out what they are … paper? Foil? Were I able to employ my other senses, such as touch, just make the simple movement of reaching out my arm, my fingers, I could deduce much more. Is this nonsense to fill my dying moments?

The reflection/shadow never shifts, not once. It just stands there, watching. After the sudden and violent blow to the head, I had expected gallons of my blood to join me down here in the falsely-innocuous puddle. So far, it hasn’t.

The rain falls.

Consciousness ebbs away from me at an excruciatingly slow pace. The blow to the head came with enough force to disable me yet leave my eyes wide open and brain processing for a few minutes more. Ripples disturb the puddle, but not enough to obliterate my foe.

The smothering effects of the water make themselves felt. My throat closes in on itself, preventing any airflow at all. I guess that’s why, technically, you drown before any water gets near your lungs.

Blackness creeps in at the edges of my vision, oozing closer and closer together. Just as the walls close right in, I am tugged and pulled. My assailant takes my wallet and phone, and then I am alone.

The rain falls.


CLICK TO TWEET

I hope you enjoyed this bit of flash fiction and would love to know what you think!

Please do check out the other contributions by popping on over to the Story Empire blog.

Here’s the link again: https://wp.me/p7OGru-Wi

@harmony_kent Harmony Kent Author Pages: Facebook / Amazon

 

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12 comments on “The Rain Falls-Story Empire Friday Fiction Prompt
  1. Soooz says:

    Wow! Harmony this is just so damned good. I love the darkness that invades this piece. Quirky, edgy and eminently readable.

  2. Staci Troilo says:

    Really good job, Harmz.

  3. Mae Clair says:

    That was awesome, Harmony. The part that really stood out for me was about the specks of foil or paper. Such a sublime thing to notice in such a grim moment. Outstanding!

  4. Jan Sikes says:

    Excellent, Harmony. No struggle, just quiet and serene darkness.

  5. CS Boyack says:

    Dang, that was good. What does it say about us that we both went in a dark direction?

  6. I like the way you made the reader dig deep to understand the heart of this story. It is good.

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